The Organizational Address
of the
One Hundred Twentieth

Chairman of the Party of the Right

Delivered at the Yale Political Union
15 January 2008

So far tonight the six other Chairmen have had the opportunity to introduce themselves and their parties to you. Unfortunately the Chairman of my Party never is so privileged, as our reputation tends to precede us, and hence I’m afraid the campus rumor mills have already beat me to the punch. Ladies and Gentlemen, you have been told that we are a Party of obstructionists, of romantics, of reactionaries, and of extreme right-wingers. Madame Speaker, it appears our notoriety works to my advantage tonight, for our audience has already been told the truth.

For if it is obstructionist to refuse to bow to the burgeoning bureaucracy of the all-mighty state, well, then we are surely obstructionist.

If it is romantic to stand athwart history living the philosophic life while surrounded by craven careerists, social climbers, and bankrupt sophists, well, then we are hopelessly romantic.

If it is reactionary to abhor the abominable campus culture of one-night stands and academic dishonesty, if it is reactionary to strive to restore chivalry and to revive the Yale man, then, by God, Ladies and Gentlemen, I pray we will be so honored as to be called ‘reactionary.’

And if it is right-wing to love excellence and to hate all that is base, then my Party is duly called the Party of the Right.

Ladies and Gentlemen, my name is Matthew David Sebastian Shaffer, and I am the one hundred twentieth Chairman of the Party of the Right, and I will tell you the truth you haven’t heard.

The truth is, the Party of the Right is a very dangerous organization. We are like the Spartan soldier at Thermopylae who, when told that his enemies had such great numbers their arrows would darken the sky, said, “then we shall fight in the shade.” We are indeed fighting in the shade, Ladies and Gentlemen, for amid a crumbling society that worships mediocrity, we alone are committed to making great men.

We know that great men are made in crucibles, and the floor of the Party of the Right, as the single most intellectually rigorous and demanding forum at Yale is the crucible which annihilates every bad cliché, and hardens every right conviction. We debate topics like,

Resolved: Smash the State.
Resolved: Humility destroys Human Dignity.
and Resolved: God is dead.

We uphold the Socratic tradition every day of our lives; and we declaim, as we have for decades, that we care not what you think, only that you think. The Party of the Right, in short, is an organization dedicated to philosophy, because only philosophy can make great men.

But philosophy, Ladies and Gentlemen, is not an activity to be picked up in section or at a debate once a week and then discarded. The books you read will not change anything unless they change you. Only the ideas which first drive men can go on to drive history. The Party of the Right is philosophy done right because we demand that you live your philosophy, otherwise she is nothing but cheap talk and intellectual vainglory.

Oh, but do not think, Madame Speaker, that we are a dull and dreary group. No, quite to the contrary, we know from much experience that good conversation and good whiskey do much to enhance one another; we enjoy a friendship enhanced by the multipicity of our enemies; and we take a distinct and selfish pleasure in feeling the intellect alive.

I am addressing all of you, but only some of you have heard me, for I am speaking from the Right. For those of you who have heard me: if you are willing to embrace hard truths and hard duties; if you want to know why our alumni say, “I got my diploma from Yale College, but I got my education from the Party of the Right;” if you want to know why this Union once debated “Resolved: The Party of the Right is wrong”, and why that resolution failed—in short, if what I have said to you tonight sounds more like a challenge to be met than a threat to be avoided, then I dare you to meet me in Room 401 of the Hall of Graduate Studies this Thursday at the traditional hour of 7:45 post meridiem as we debate the topic,

Resolved: Eat the Apple.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Madame President, the choice is yours: you may affiliate with one of the other six parties of the Yale Political Union, or you may petition for membership in the Party of the Right.

Thank you.